93/365

Heading down to the parental house, going out for a walk in the rain fresh countryside, the grass luminous green again after a good dose of rain, the wind rustling through the trees, beautiful cottages to drool over, chats about God and chats about nothing in particular, ending up at our favourite tea shop for tea and cake.

92/365

Freewheeling down to the beach this morning, catching the tide out and a long stretch of sand to run along, Chariots of Fire stylee. There's nothing better than running along sand, barefoot, splashing in the shallows of the sea. MMmmmm.

92/365

Jonathan Ross is back on our airwaves after a summer break. Cause for great celebration. A perfect accompaniment to a Saturday morning fry up.

91/365

After a frustrating day wrestling with seminars and thoughts and attempting to make them into some sort of coherent sense, putting on the classic "Keep the Faith" album by Bon Jovi. Ah, cheesy rock at it's finest. Dancing around the room to "Blame it on the love of Rock and Roll", with lines such as: "It feels so good, it ought to be illegal", who could fault it...

90/365

89/365

The sound of my Mum's voice after a day of feeling ill and sorry for myself. Nice.

88/365

A flask of tea, a camper van, a blue sparkly sea and a good book.

87/365

Chasing shadows on the beach late at night, watching dark waves crash on the shore, sitting in the bedouin tent effect in my mates camper van listening to the sound of the sea outside.

86/365

"The back panel should then be placed with the flanges pointing towards the fold on the large flat panel, ensuring they line up with the folds on the large panel"

(I love putting furniture together... 2 hours later I have a filing cabinet.)

85/365

Driving home listening to the fourth Cutting Edge album. An album full of longing, wearyness and a realisation that this life is hard and long (well, apart from the somewhat cheesy Men of Faith song) After a week of Christian Sub Culture at it's heights it was refreshing to hear some honest Christian music expressing the longing to know more of our hard to get maker.

"When tomorrow has been stolen and you can't lift your head
And summer feels like winter your heart is full of stone
Though all your hopes have fallen your skin is now your only armour
Wear your scars like medals defender of the faith

Come, come lay your weary head be still my friend
Come, rise I'll place my sword upon your shoulder
Come, rise with me"

"and i'm so filthy with my sin
i carry pride like a disease
you know i'm stubborn God and
i'm longing to be close
you burn me deeper than i know
i feel lonely without hope
i feel desperate without vision
you wrap around me like a winter coat
youcome and free me like a bird
and my heart burns for you
and my heart burns for you."

"Is there hope enough these days to forgive
someone like me?
Is there grace enough these days to forgive
someone like me?"

"Can I be free from the chains of my religion?
They wrap around my head and they blind my eyes of faith
And I feel dangerous 'cos I hunger for the truth
This tightrope's swinging high"

Ah it takes me back to my teenage years.

84/365

Driving home and singing the whole of Queen's greatest hits together. Later that afternoon; post the ultra grumpy phase, revitalised by some bad TV and several cups of tea, playing music to cheer ourselves up. As ever the magic works and something is restored deep inside.

83/365

Bumping into many people from randomly different areas of my life. A friend of a friend of a friend entertaining us on the stall, getting us through the long evenings. Buying a Djembe. Singing 'Good old fashioned lover boy' with Steph to get the somewhat irritating "Dancing Generation" song out of our head.

82/365

Sitting in a morning meeting, appreciating the quieter moments to sit and remember God. Psalm 37 reminds me that following God will look foolish and stupid, and those rejecting him will seem to have a much better time of it in this life. But God's ways are best, however hard that is to believe at times. Being reminded that satisfying my cravings right now will not bring me greater happiness or ease of life. Walking with God, being obedient to him, is the only way to make it home.

81/365

A tired and grumpy Kath stares into space as the 5th hour of sitting on a stall drags on and on.
Steph: Is there anything I can do for you?
Kath: You could do a small dance.
Steph dances for all to see.
Kath cheers up for a moment.

80/365

Driving down to Soul Survivor with the lovely Steph, good to catch up after a month of not seeing each other. Arriving at the campsite and once again thinking, "how do we get ourselves into these situations?". Stopping at a service station in Somerset on the way and asking if they had a cash point, the response: "Not round this area". Hmm, still using the old bartering system in the West Country then...

79/365

Lazing on a Sunday afternoon, lunch with housemates, cups of tea and the best lazing around film, Ferris Buellers Day Off. An 80's classic. Best line: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." Good point.

78/365

Pottering around the South Downs with my lovely family, chilled and relaxed, talking about deep stuff, talking about stupid things, insulting each other and hearing Mum and Dad recount the story of how they got together. Beautiful, and very amusing thinking of them as teenagers. Hehe.

77/365

Cuddles are the best invention.

76/365

The man on reception at the swimming pool this morning greeted me with a cheery hello and 'haven't seen you for a while'. For some reason, in my head, I think his name is Ben, I wonder what it really is.

75/365

Sitting in a prayer meeting tonight able to pray and mean it, realising that this really is the most important meeting of the week and being so so glad that God is real, listens to me and is at work on my prune like shriveled heart.

74/365

Bumming around London with an old Uni friend, going to the Zoo and looking at all the weird creatures in this world, reminising on old Uni days and drinking, as ever, many many cups of tea. There's nothing quite like cups of tea with the person who introduced me to tea in the first place.

73/365

Sitting in a friends camper van, staring out at the stars, we talked as we've always done over the last 13 years or so, we chatted to our Father and wondered again at His faithfulness with us, his patience, kindness and the simple reality of this world being about Him at the centre of our lives. There is much to ask him for, there is much to cry and rage against, there are many good works to be done, but these things come second to just hanging out with the one who made the stars. Times when anything seems possible, times when it really comes home that this world is passing away and we can embrace each day as it comes and times when having God really is enough.

72/365

The smile on my brothers face tonight. Aw. Nice at last to see good stuff happening to him.

71/365

A perfect summers evening, sitting amongst many others consuming the poshest picnic, good chats with the delectable Anna, listening to Jools Holland belt out some funky blues, dancing in the twilight, music having that magic affect of drowning out the internal chunterings of my brain for a while and helping me just enjoy the moment.

70/365

Still dazed and confused but having a better day today. Sitting on the beach reading, gazing at the cliffs, hearing the sound of waves slapping on the shore and remembering some of the reality that remains despite the fuzz in my head right now. Watching so many episodes of '24' that when someone phoned for my housemate's mobile number I thought that maybe giving it to her might be dangerous because she could then be traced. Oh dear. Jack Bauer may haunt my dreams tonight, which, thinking about it, might be no bad thing. (ahem)

69/365

In a dazed out day, Lou arriving with fresh fruit and vegetables, getting into the old routine of Neighbours watching and wandering on the downs. Nice.

68/365

Isn't it nice when God does happy things in friends lives. Grinning for them.

67/365

Home sweet home. Landing and being so grateful to God for his extreme kindness to us all. Singing my team a final song (our team meetings usually consisted of me singing them a random song, I blame the heat..) Out for a meal with my family, talking about life, the universe and everything, glad to be with the people who know me so well and for so long have extended unconditional love to me. Good to slot back in and be loved.

66/365

Finding our way around Sofia without the aid of any Bulgarians. Final Team de-brief, glad again at the God who speaks Bulgarian, who calls all people to Him regardless of background, culture or dim past. Glad to see that He has been at work in the team and through us all over the last two weeks.

65/365

Finally eating some vegetables and salad. Mmmmm fresh vegetables. Maybe Daniel was on to something after all.

64/365

Crying in small group time at the story of the Prodigal Son. Amazed again by the generous patient love of the Father and the grace that gets extended again and again, even to the hard jealous older brother. Relief again that such grace can find even me.

63/365

Bulgarian Cultural night, realising that they have such a sense of identity, love of their homeland and some understanding of what it means to be Bulgarian. All things born out of struggle and suffering after years of oppression. There's something profound there if you think about it for a bit.

62/365

Realising I was walking around a random town on my own on the other side of Europe to home and loving the isolated moment of peace that thought created.

61/365

A day of relaxing in the beauty of Bulgarian towns along the coast. A perfect boat trip along to a very pretty old greek town. Eating by the sea in the evening to celebrate one of the teams Birthday. Good times.

60/365

Talking to a student from Bulgaria and being overwhelmed to the point of tears by how much God loves her and wants her to know the reality of Him amongst and over all the random ideas she has.

59/365

Going for a beer in the afternoon with a couple of the team. Mmmm.

58/365

The hysteria of the English Cultural night. Highlights include: Introducing Bulgarians to Marmite, scones and Monty Python. Singing a song dedicated to tea. Hearing one of the team talk about Coventry of all places, and seeing lots of people take her seriously and be interested in the delights of Coventry. Laughing so much it hurt.

57/365

Amusing chats with some of the team, sarcastic moments, and many many questions along the lines of "Top 3 (insert your own list here, eg Queen songs, books, bands, things about the internet cafe, things about Bulgaria, tops Kath has worn, inapproriate things Kath has said etc etc.) ..."

56/365

The sugar rush of eating Jelly Babies with the team, a good replacement for the lack of caffine going on. 2 weeks without tea, that's hard...

55/365

Bouncing in waves on the Black Sea Coast, relaxing with the American and English team before the camp started, after the uber long 24 hours of travelling the previous day. Good to lie on my back in warm sea gazing at a blue blue sky.

54/365

Sitting in a pizza place, utterly unable to understand the menu and ordering by pointing and smiling. All the time we forgot that in Bulgaria shaking your head means yes and nodding means no. Try doing that for more than a minute and lose your mind. Later we got on an overnight coach and had the surreal experience of stumbling out of the doors at 3am, for a toilet stop, and hearing the delights of "I want to dance with somebody" blasting out. I'd forgotten the Bulgarian love of cheesy bad euro-pop wherever you go.