280/365

Jess the Staff Worker: "You just need to get over yourself". Well said. Getting over myself and doing something. Much laughter in Chi, transformation really happens. ONCE for ALL. A new method of picking Bible passages to study-
Old or new? History or wisdom? History or Prophecy? Kings or Judges? Kings or Elijah? Elijah or Nehemiah? Nehemiah 1 or 9?
Nehemiah 9, one of the best chapters. - A summery: God is faithful, stubborn in love, gracious and compassionate time after time. Humans reject, rebel and harden their hearts, time after time. God remains wonderful.
Plotting.

279/365

People turning up at lunch time. Moving through acceptance to anger and denial at Gareths departure. "How ARE you?". Dinner with the lovely Nay, laughter and surprise. Going slightly mad in Asda and more hot chocolate and inappropriate video watching. Unity in grumpyness.

278/365

Cooking a healthy and wonderful meal with Ceryn. Just knowing together that life really does suck. The student who cared. Leaving the gig and breathing in fresh sea air. The sound of the sea at night. Back to welsh cakes, white hot chocolate and Friends.

277/365

Finally doing this. Double rainbow in the sky this afternoon.

276/365

Touring Anna's community to make sure I'd seen everyone. Sitting reading the paper.

275/365

Alice and Melinda, telling stories, Cambridge coffee shops and the West Wing.

274/365

Back to drumming to ease the spaced out brain. It really works. Hitting things rhythmically makes the fuzz disperse for a while.

273/365

Thankful that this is true today, and in fact everyday.

"17And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. 18Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. 19If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. 20But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep."

That means this is also true:

"Death has been swallowed up in victory."55"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

272/365

Laughter with Jess and Ceryn, a 'normal' soupervision. Home to pancakes and then evening out with my lovely big Bruver. Looking and laughing at old letters sent to each other. Hoorah for God's work in our lives and hoorah that I'm no longer a messed up teenager. Being a messed up adult is so much more fun.

271/365

The main two applications of my talk on joy:
1. Do a 365
2. Shut down your computer, turn off your phone, switch off the tv and talk to the Maker of all things. Get thinking about the hope we have in the new creation and know that in this crazy messed up world there is some glimmer of hope.

270/365

Cooking a grown up lunch for a family. We have branched out. Getting to hug my Mum.

269/365

Home to some cleaning, a long hot bath, fresh food and wine and Lord of the Rings. The hope of heaven reducing me and my brother to tears on the phone tonight.

"And if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home"

268/365

I have no idea how to describe today. Privileged maybe. Glad to be part of the patchwork that helps my friend in these horrible times, glad to know that others are as well and together we share out the pain. A day where we cried, laughed, cried some more, remembered and told stories. An important day.

267/365

Binface, Witsy, B and Peach.
The Indigo Girls. "How long til my soul gets it right?".
Oh and getting to be a Bridesmaid again. Woop.

266/365

Um. Inbetween staring at walls in a daze... The hanging out with students in Portsmouth this afternoon. Entering the world of lazing around, drinking too much tea, talking about nothing at all and occasionally commenting on daytime tv made me almost wish to be back there. And slightly chuffed that I got to call it work.

265/365

La Tristesse Durera means, the sadness will never go.
The Manics wrote a song that said this:

"Life has been unfaithful
And it all promised so so much
I am a relic
I am just a petrified cry...
....Oh, the sadness will never go
Will never go away
Baby it's here to stay
La tristesse durera
Scream to a sigh, to a sigh"

Jesus says this:
"I am the resurrection and the life"

God says this:
"1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

In the face of today and the years that remain we say:
"Come Lord Jesus. Come."

We live with all these emotions and more.
The screams have just as much place as the hope and we cry with threads of gold in the tears.

264/365

He's only gone and done it hasn't he? Good news is a welcome relief. Hoorah.

263/365

Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... And then you see it.
Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what?
Gandalf: White shores... and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: [smiling] Well, that isn't so bad.
Gandalf: [softly] No... No it isn't.

262/365

There are days when the dark clouds get a little close, and although I can't take away the pain my friends are going through right now, one day someone else will. That day can't come soon enough. Timely reading this morning.

"6 On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
7 On this mountain he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
8 he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove the disgrace of his people
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken."

(oh and fine company easing the weirdness of today, Eddi Reader soothing my soul with her pretty music and the deep desire within me to make music all day long.)

261/365

Sitting with Brighton Committee talking about how we wouldn't be the people we are today without God, wanting to cry because God really does use the weak and foolish and transform our lives so everyone gets to see how amazing he is.

"Which one was Ed?", "The coolest of the boys", "Ah".

260/365

Driving up to the downs to check on the snow situation. Staggered again by the beauty in this world and the perfect colouring of luminous green grass and bright blue skies. Last moments with the team before they headed off to their own homes, singing Smiths songs, talk canceled so getting home early, sitting on our sofas just reading a book.

259/365

My lovely team, in my lovely house. Getting to sit properly in the arms of my Father again, enjoying all the brilliant stuff he gives and chatting to Bish and Gareth about life and Jesus. Getting to be the hostess again. Being on team days and not having to drive in the dark to some random persons house and turn up to sleep in a bed provided. Getting to curl up in mine. Mmm.

258/365

Jonny came with Chocolates, the best kind. I watched 24. I want to shoot people now. I think this is wrong and probably shouldn't be on this blog. Hmm. I made cake. Cake. mmm.

257/365

Hang the DJ, Hang the DJ, Hang the DJ, Hang the DJ,
Hang the DJ.

256/365

The third day off in a row. Thus followed a day of just doing some life, and enjoying the fine detail: The chats to mates on the phone, the amazing Ready Steady Cook dinner me and Lizzi made at lunchtime, the beautiful wine to accompany it, cups of tea and the paper, quiet reading on the sofa with good music and the mindbendingness of Joel 1 at church tonight. Oo and singing 'There is a higher throne' and being exceedingly glad that there is and that one day He will wipe every tear stained eye. The new creation is going to rock. Like, totally.

255/365

Cleaning, being helped by the cute cat from next door, sunshine and an open back door. Is it spring time now?

254/365

The saddest day in our house, Birgitte has gone back to Denmark. Still, in the spirit of 365's...

Last fry up in Hove. Last pray together, tears and laughter. Beautiful gifts, more crying. Laughing at old photos and good memories of the last three years. Realising that at least we know God is doing good stuff with Birgitte and there is hope in this crazy world. Driving to the airport with the cheese play list on my ipod. Grease, Abba and the delights of S Club's 'Reach' keeping us happy until the inevitable. Indulging in the misery on the way home by singing loudly to 'Everybody hurts'. Back home to friends, beer and curry. Flights booked to Denmark in May.

253/365

So, at the end of a surreal day, at the end of a surreal week I have no idea what to write here. The end of term feeling in my brain won't go away. Gareth said I could have a day off tomorrow. I think I need it.